New Year, Better You
Out: New Year's Resolutions. In: Ins and Outs.
Photo by Medhi Lacoste for Vogue, New York, 2017
The Earth completes an orbit, and so a new year begins. 2024, we all hope, will finally be our year. With it comes the promise of the New Year's resolution: go to the gym, cut out junk food, keep up with house chores, et cetera. Yet resolutions always seem to fail, to the point where it is a storytelling cliché. Overzealous goals and paradoxes of the resolution get in the way of substantial, well-meaning self-improvement. “Ins and outs”, one of the recent TikTok trends, may solve the issues stacked against it. Ins and outs lists are easy. You make a list of what you want to keep or develop in your life—your Ins—and leave behind what no longer fits you—your Outs. A quick scroll through the tag shows the ways people have come to adopt this trend. Ins might be intentional movement, reading more, focusing on friendships, and Outs can be anything from negative self-talk to screen time in bed. And humor is not the enemy of sincerity, as user Mary Steven’s shows in her Ins and Outs video. Many lists center on self-care, compassion, and love within one’s life. One of my personal favorite videos explicitly listed prioritizing oneself, and that is the heart of this trend: the unique ways to prioritize one’s wellbeing in 2024.
Photo by Theo Wenner for British Vogue, 2019
This trend addresses many of the shortcomings of the New Year's resolution. First of all, the term resolution carries the connotation of being steadfast, firm, and unwavering, with its root word being resolute. This sets up unachievable expectations. Growth often results from and sprouts from failure, yet resolutions have a very black and white approach to change. You either succeed, or you fail, and if you fail, you cannot try again. Second, the resolution sets you up to fail in the first place because of the Pink Elephant Paradox. When told not to think about a pink elephant, what is the first thing to pop into your head? The original study which observed this phenomenon stated, “attempted thought suppression has paradoxical effects as a self-control strategy, perhaps even producing the very obsession or preoccupation that it is directed against.” You want to eat clean, but all you can think about is a tasty treat. The more you think about the lack, the more it cuts into your motivation, and then you fail. Comparatively, Ins and Outs are a holistic approach to life changes. Big and small goals allow you to keep up motivation since small victories replenish your energy and let you take on some of the more difficult items on your list. And even when you stumble on something like setting boundaries, this trend’s emphasis on compassion means you can give yourself grace when you do fail. The Ins and Outs themselves also bring balance since they don’t suffer from the Paradox. By seeing the habit you want out next to the habit you want to bring in, you have less room to brood. It evens the playing field for your mind and gives you an In to focus on instead, without denying yourself the Out.
Self-improvement is something personal, with a scope beyond what the resolution tradition can capture. 2024 has just begun. It’s never too late to start guiding the life you want with a method that can last.
