SCENEic Siblings

Siblings—wombmates, tattletales, and partners in crime. A relationship that constantly tests your endurance, patience, and love. Sibling relationships are often some of a person's most complicated and formative connections. The dynamics between siblings can vary widely from fierce rivalries to unbreakable bonds, just as much as the various sibling situations. Due to its complex intricacies, this relationship has been a muse and a pain to many artists, filmmakers, and showrunners. When recreated for the screens, it can be quite a hit or miss, inspiring me to look at reel siblings and judge them based on my experience as a long-term elder sister.

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen in New York Minute, 2003Photo: FilmMagic

Sibling relationships have been a prominent theme in storytelling since ancient times. The dynamics between brothers and sisters, sisters and sisters, brothers and brothers, and siblings in general, remain compelling in film and television narratives. These relationships are often complex and full of love, rivalry, envy, loyalty, and deep-seated familial bonds (trauma bonds are still bonds). How sibling dynamics are represented in media presents insights into human nature, family structures, and cultural values. We will explore how siblings are shown in movies and TV and how these portrayals can sometimes be inaccurate. Mainstream media often oversimplify or distort these relationships, which may not fully capture their complexities and nuances in real life.

Sibling relationships are relatable to most people, so they resonate strongly in media. Whether it's the competitive rivalry seen in The Godfather (1972) between Michael and Fredo Corleone or the unbreakable bond portrayed in Frozen (2013) between Anna and Elsa, these stories touch on universally understood sentiments. The familiarity of sibling dynamics allows viewers to project their own experiences onto the characters, making these stories profoundly personal and engaging.
The most beautiful portrayals of siblinghood are also the most inaccurate because who talks to their siblings like that? The idyllic nature of reel siblings often evokes a disconnect between the characters and the story and the urge to change the channel. Take Monica and Ross Geller from Friends (1994), for example. Their monster parents repeatedly blatantly favor Ross over Monica. If that's not enough ammunition, both of them have strong personalities, yet we barely see anything more than immature squabbles. Don't get me wrong, siblings get childish when put together, but atomic arguments created from buried tension are a staple. The lack of room for deep and long-standing conflicts and unwavering love in the face of it all looks unrealistic because siblings are rarely raised in the "same" home. Siblings growing up in the same household can have different experiences due to birth order, parental expectations, family dynamics, and individual personalities. For instance, parents might treat their first child differently from their younger ones, or there may be varying financial circumstances. Each child's unique interactions with their parents and siblings shape their perspective and experience in the family. As a result, siblings can have different emotional and psychological experiences within the same physical environment. This is the adornment of the relationship; without it, it looks like an only child wrote the script.

Many films and TV shows portray sibling relationships as almost perfect, glossing over the potential for conflict and difference. Another example of an idealized sibling relationship that my mother has invoked more times than I can count is the globally successful animated film Frozen (2013), the bond between Elsa and Anna. While the film raises conflict between the sisters, it is resolved neatly and satisfactorily, leaving out the ongoing challenges that real siblings might face in similar situations. What is missing in all these lovey-dovey extreme representations of siblinghood is a middle ground. The portrayal of sibling relationships that are neither defined by rivalry nor by an almost unattainable harmony or a state of compromise wherein we live in undying love while also boiling annoyance. In real life, sibling dynamics can be incredibly multifaceted, entangling stretches of closeness and distance, affection and resentment, cooperation and competition. Such a nuanced depiction can be found in the Japanese animated film My Neighbor Totoro (1988). The relationship between the two sisters, Satsuki and Mei, is portrayed with a genuine mix of affection, frustration, responsibility, and playfulness. The film does not shy away from showing the older sister's exasperation with her younger sibling. Still, it also highlights their deep care for each other, providing a more rounded view of sibling dynamics.

The MARVEL-ous Siblings- Thor And Loki, Thor: The Dark World (2013), Deseret News

On the opposite end of the spectrum, sibling rivalry is one of the prevalent yet oversimplified tropes in storytelling in films and TV shows, often used to drive the plot and create tension. This dynamic is particularly prominent in stories about power, inheritance, or parental favoritism. Hollywood usually amplifies these conflicts to the point where they become the central or only aspect of the sibling relationship. In movies like The Godfather series, the rivalry between Michael and Fredo Corleone is illustrated with intense drama and betrayal. While such rivalries exist in real life, the severity and longevity are often exaggerated for dramatic effect. The subtle, everyday moments of support, the quiet reconciliation, and the mutual growth between siblings are frequently overshadowed by the need for friction to drive the narrative. The relationship between Loki and Thor in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) is based on the trope of the envious, power-hungry sibling. While layered with moments of genuine care, their relationship defaults to hostility at the end of each movie, overlooking the potential for exploring a more balanced sibling dynamic that includes cooperation and mutual understanding. The sun has been waiting to shine on the brothers, so Kevin Feige and Brad Winderbaum- GET IT TOGETHER!

We cannot discuss messy siblings without mentioning the Game of Thrones (2011). The sibling relationships often involve political intrigue and power struggles. The Lannister siblings—Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion—embody different aspects of sibling rivalry and alliance. Cersei's manipulative nature, Jaime's conflicted loyalty, and Tyrion's outsider status create a complex web of relationships that drive much of the drama. The show's portrayal of sibling dynamics is both Shakespearean and brutal, capturing the intense emotions that can exist between brothers and sisters. While the emotions are realistic, all the happenings are sibling fantasies at best.

But as I said, the trope is the base of many sibling reel-ationships. In The Lion King (1994), the rivalry between Simba and Scar is a classic example of how jealousy and the desire for power can corrupt a sibling relationship. Scar's envy of Mufasa's legacy and his subsequent betrayal of Simba highlight the destructive potential of sibling rivalry, which is well done in the film. Still, it's not a mirror of all siblings since rivalry isn't always rooted in power struggles. In The Royal Tenenbaums (2001), Wes Anderson explores sibling rivalry in a more quiet yet equally powerful manner. The Tenenbaum siblings—Chas, Margot, and Richie—are all prodigies who have failed to live up to their potential, leading to a sense of unfulfilled promise and quiet resentment. The film's quirky, melancholic tone underscores the sadness and absurdity of sibling competition, showing how it can stem from a desire for parental approval and personal validation.

The March Women, Little Women (2019), Franglais27 Tales

While rivalry often takes center stage, sibling relationships in film and television are also portrayed as sources of strength, support, and redemption. These narratives emphasize that, despite conflicts and differences, siblings can be a person's most enduring allies. Films like Little Women (2019) are a saving grace. The March sisters—Jo, Meg, Beth, and Amy—represent the different elements of sibling relationships: competition, affection, misunderstanding, and unconditional love. The movie effortlessly navigates the individual struggles of each sister while highlighting how their bond strengthens in the face of adversity. Portrayals of female relationship dynamics seldom come around; good ones are rarer. Greta Gerwig's adaptation adds a modern lens to the classic tale, emphasizing the delicate complexities of female and sibling relationships, which are infinitely more nuanced, and how societal expectations shape their lives. Their scenes seemed natural because of Gerwig's expert decision to have them talk over, cut off, and interrupt each other as real siblings do. A conscious decision that would have been incredibly difficult to act out due to overlapping sounds added a realistic edge to this pictorial version of the story.

Similarly, in Stranger Things (2016), the bond between the Byers brothers, Jonathan and Will, is a central theme. Jonathan's protective nature and persistence to find his missing brother drive much of the show's early plot. Their relationship exemplifies the deep, protective instincts siblings can have for one another, especially in the face of external threats. Similarly, the bond between the Hargreaves siblings in The Umbrella Academy (2019) highlights how family ties can be both a source of conflict and salvation. Despite their dysfunctional upbringing, the Hargreaves siblings repeatedly come together to save the world, illustrating the power of familial loyalty. In The Blind Side (2009), the relationship between Michael Oher and his adoptive siblings, Collins and SJ Tuohy, is a testament to how sibling bonds can be formed beyond biological ties. The Tuohy family's acceptance of Michael and the support they provide him illustrate that sibling relationships can be built on love, respect, and shared experiences rather than blood.

Television shows like This Is Us (2016) explore sibling dynamics with a raw emotional depth. The Pearson siblings—Kevin, Kate, and Randall—navigate their adult lives while grappling with the trauma of losing their father at a young age. The show delves into themes of identity, jealousy, and forgiveness, offering a realistic portrayal of how siblings can both uplift and hurt each other. The narrative shifts between past and present, allowing viewers to see how childhood experiences shape the siblings' adult relationships, creating a rich tapestry of character development. Despite coming from the same home, the portrayal of the diverse experiences of each sibling spoke to so many audience members. This creates complex emotions and unresolved tensions that the show addresses. The show's conflicts stemmed from misunderstandings, unresolved issues from the past, and different coping mechanisms, which gave backbone to realistic sibling disputes. Despite it all, they remained interwoven and were shown to come back to each other regardless of their issues to continuously work on themselves and their relationship because that's what you do for siblings.

The Toda Siblings- A Realistic Representation, Tokyo Story (1953), Blueprint: Review 

Culture is also an influential factor that influences the dynamics between siblings, which means they vary significantly across cultures. This diversity is often underrepresented in global cinema. In many Asian cultures, for example, filial piety extends to sibling relationships, where older siblings may take on more parental roles. Films like Ozu's Tokyo Story (1953) explore these dynamics in a more subdued and natural fashion, countering the often inflated narratives seen in Western media.

In contrast, the Bollywood film Dil Dhadakne Do (2015) offers a more modern and urban take on sibling relationships. The relationship between the Mehra siblings, Ayesha and Kabir, is marked by mutual respect and understanding despite the pressures of their dysfunctional family. Kabir constantly stood up for his older sister, whether for recognizing her caliber, against sexist standards, or when he saw her suffering in an unhappy marriage that she couldn't leave because of potential societal backlash. Ayesha was Kabir's cheerleader, confidante, and the person who schooled him when he did something stupid. This portrayal highlights how cultural context can influence sibling dynamics, offering a richer, more varied perspective than typically seen in Western narratives.
I can't help but mention Pixar's Coco (2017), which offers a unique perspective on sibling relationships through the lens of ancestry and legacy. The film's protagonist, Miguel, discovers his great-great-grandmother Imelda's relationship with her brother, Hector, which plays a crucial role in the story. The film beautifully portrays how sibling bonds can transcend generations, shaping family history and identity. Culturally, Encanto (2021) also highlights the importance of family unity, a typical value in many Latin American cultures, where siblings often share deep bonds and collective duties. The film also touches on the impact of intergenerational trauma, where the siblings' relationships are shaped by the expectations and fears passed down from their grandmother (I cried less than 18 minutes into the movie...#relatable). Through its portrayal of the Madrigal siblings, Encanto provides a nuanced representation of how cultural values and family dynamics intersect, influencing how siblings interact, support each other, and navigate their individual paths within the family structure.

The Most Trending Siblings- The Bridgertons, Bridgerton (2020), Today Show

The representation of sibling dynamics in film and television is as varied as it is compelling. From rivalry and betrayal to loyalty and redemption, these relationships offer a rich source of narrative anticipation and emotional depth. The misrepresentation of these dynamics in films and television shows often stems from a need to create easily digestible narratives prioritizing conflict or harmony over complexity. However, as audiences become more attuned to the nuances of human relationships, whether reflecting the universality of sibling experiences or delving into the unique intricacies of specific relationships, stories about brothers and sisters continue to captivate audiences.

The enduring appeal of sibling dynamics lies in their ability to reflect the intricacies of relationships. Exploring diverse cultural perspectives and moving away from the extremes of rivalry and perfection can lead to richer, more authentic portrayals of sibling dynamics—ones that resonate with a broader audience and reflect the true nature of these critical relationships. As long as there are stories to tell, sibling relationships will remain a central theme in film and television, offering a mirror to the joys, struggles, and sorrows that define our connections with those closest to us. After all, movies and shows are cheaper than some much-needed therapy, and in the end, we can always agree on one thing—'At least we aren't that bad!'