Say Please and Thank You
Reflecting on girlhood, grit, and the unapologetic energy of women like Amy Taylor, life’s “gray areas” reveal a path to self-discovery beyond expectations.
One day, you’re young and carefree. Then, all of a sudden, you’re in a constant state of overthinking about everything you’re told to do or avoid. You’re in a continuous cycle of comparing yourself to everyone who’s come before or is yet to come. You develop interests, and you want to get good at them, but you just can’t stop wondering if you’re doing things right. Do you know everything you should know? Are you acting the right way and saying the right things? How do you look when you’re doing these things? Is it convincing?
I hope not everyone spent their teenage years this way, but that’s what mine were like. Those years are there for a reason, whether you’re a boy or a girl. But let’s be honest: being a girl is particularly challenging, with a few extra opinions for you to digest and analyze. Now, let’s suppose you’re a girl who really likes music and playing it. You find some comrades to play with. You’re not good at it at first—you know it, but you’re having fun. But there’s never a moment when you aren’t reminded of something that’s missing.
You’re too still, and you should move and loosen up a little. I was 17, playing in a girl band when we were told by an adult man that we should consider playing in heels and mini-skirts to look better and attract people (it was a small-town music contest). At the time, I was still figuring out how to think of myself as a sexual being and whether it was even possible. It’s supposed to be a joke, but you’re not laughing, and you just end up looking stiff. Yet another opinion you didn’t ask for, but now you’re stuck with.
You know amazing women have blazed a trail in music history, wearing whatever they wanted while doing it. You don’t have a specific role model, but it’s comforting to know there’s a path. Choosing one, though, feels like picking between black and white. I want to play music, but how can I look tougher when I feel like a clown whenever I’m out? I don’t want to wear make-up or feel feminine, but other female musicians do.
Now, the guy with the fashion advice writes poetry about how women should be protected. It’s ironic, but maybe he’s changed. Change is good—without it, I wouldn’t be here, grateful for every second of those teenage years. I learned that between black and white, there’s gray—and that’s me. Everything I like shouldn’t need explaining or justifying. And that goes for the way I feel, too.
Learning about women in music always held a bit of jealousy in it—not being able to feel as comfortable as they seemed to be. But that soon turned into admiration, and that’s what I felt listening to a podcast interview with Amy Taylor from Amyl and The Sniffers on “A Chat with Abbie Chatfield.” The Australian punk rock band has shaken up the scene with fresh, honest, and angry lyrics from a frontwoman who raves about politics, love, life, and every corner of womanhood—and she’s damn good at it. The hour-long open-hearted chat was between Amy, who started making music in her 20s with her then-roommates, and a genuine fan (the interviewer) who found comfort and inspiration in Amy’s lyrics—songs that touch on struggles every woman knows, like wishing to walk freely at night and being forced to carry something to defend yourself.
Australian Band, Amyl and The Sniffers, photographed by John Angus Stewart, via Stereogum. © All rights belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
Amy Taylor is part of a legacy left by trailblazing women, but she’s completely her own person and isn’t afraid to show every facet of herself—as a performer and as a human. She’s not afraid of opinions about her audacious outfits or her role as a frontwoman in a male band, no matter the criticism she still faces.
She touches on that in “U Should Not Be Doing That,” from their latest album, Cartoon Darkness, released on October 25th. The album sounds quieter and more sonically reflexive but with the same grit views on modern society and its changing. But focusing only on her ability to ignore criticism would diminish her accomplishments, as she courageously exposes vulnerability and strong femininity in her own terms in a genre that isn’t always welcoming.
Amy Taylor, Amyl and The Sniffers’s Frontwoman photographed by Sam Rivera, via Interview Magazine. © All rights belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
It makes you wonder what her presence and their music will mean for the next generation of girls and boys since her work means so much to her current followers. And I don’t wish weird things like having them appear 10 years earlier just so I could enjoy them in my teenage years. Their latest album is the perfect anthem to celebrate the 25-year-long development of my prefrontal cortex and has arrived at the perfect time.
