Media Stereotypes
The Mob Wife and Rockstar Girlfriend aesthetics have resurfaced as cultural obsessions, repackaging hyper-feminine excess and rebellion while raising questions about whether they subvert patriarchal ideals or reinforce them.
A model walking down the runway for Christian Dior Autumn/Winter 2000, photographed by Pierre Verdy/AFP via Getty Images. Available via: Dazed Digital © All rights belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
Last year marked the 25th anniversary of The Sopranos' airing, coinciding with the peak popularity of the Mob Wife aesthetic. Mob media's plots often emphasize the marriages between the men and their wives. Therefore, it’s crucial to recognize Ginger McKenna in Casino, Elvira Hancock in Scarface, and Carmela Soprano in The Sopranos when exploring the Mob Wife aesthetic in media. The three women share a similar sophistication, although Carmela Soprano undergoes a style evolution. In earlier seasons, she wears light pastels and patterns. However, as the seasons progress, she dons form-fitting suits and her hair gets shorter, becoming a more contemporary woman. She challenges perceptions of what a mob wife is, as she stands up for herself against Tony’s infidelity and abuse.
Edie Falco as Carmela Soprano and James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano. Available via New York Times © All rights belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
Romanticizing the "Lifestyles" Behind the Rockstar Girlfriend and Mob Wife Aesthetic
Characters from these notorious pieces are often glamorized. The glamorization of these characters is especially evident on social media. Some influencers, such as Kass Parker, also known as JustKass, posted "Mob Wife outfit inspiration". By posting this on public platforms, this can inspire young, vulnerable women into thinking that being a mob wife entails wearing designer clothes.
The Potential Abuse of the Rockstar Girlfriend
It is critical to note that there is abuse within the Rockstar Girlfriend archetype. The documentary Look Away discusses the mistreatment of women in the music industry at length. Yllo and Straus' findings concluded that women were more likely to suffer from abuse in environments where men's influence was more prevalent. (Yllo and Straus (1984) and (Saunders, 2022). In addition, women are abused due to the patriarchy's assumptions about women. Tommy Lee physically assaulted Pamela Anderson. He was sentenced to six months in prison, and Pamela filed for divorce. They went on to break up and get back together numerous times; this is sadly the case for many women in abusive relationships. It’s estimated that survivors of abuse return to an abusive partner seven times before they leave permanently. (The Hotline, 2023). In 1996, their sex tape was leaked. This led to Tommy Lee being a sex symbol, but Anderson said this negatively impacted her career. In the patriarchal society, there are countless double standards. Dana Theus explores them and the impact of this phenomenon in “Which Double Standard for Women Applies To You? All of Them?” (Theus, 2024).
Whiteness and Inclusivity within Aesthetics
When considering the Rockstar Girlfriend trope, it is necessary to recognize that many of the women depicted in said aesthetic are White. Women such as Iman, wife of David Bowie, and Mayte Garcia, wife of Prince, should be recognized as muses just as much as their White counterparts. The “role” of women in music is captured in the movie Almost Famous, Penny Lane states, “We are not groupies. Groupies sleep with rockstars because they want to be near someone famous. We are here because of the music, we inspire the music. We are band aids.” That being said, it’s important to distinguish between inspiration and fetishization. The song Brown Sugar by the Rolling Stones fetishizes Black women. When researching for this article, it was difficult to find a song that was inspired by Black women.
Fetishization and the Decentering of BIPOC Women
Evidence of Black Women being fetishized has an extensive history, having existed since when slavery was legalized across the United States. Pseudo-scientific claims suggested Black people were subhuman and “less” evolved than white Europeans. This led to the belief that the inhumane treatment faced by Black people was justified. This led to some even believing that the enslavement of Black people was an “attempt to help the “uncivilized savages”. (Holmes, 2016). Similarly, the “Jezebel” stereotype that was prevalent in the Slavery and 20th century era. This harmful stereotype perpetuated a harmful belief that enslaved Black women wanted intercourse with their “owners” (White men). (Holmes, 2016). The sexualization of Black women is evident in “iconic” films where Black women play prostitutes. For example, Taxi Driver, “...(Phillips, Phillips & Scorsese, 1976), a Black hooker (Copper Cunningham) has sex with a white businessman in the backseat of the taxi driven by Travis Bickle (Robert De Niro). The sex act is offered as evidence of the moral decline and decadence of America.” (Pilgrim, 2002). This very deliberate misogyny is called Misogynoir, it strictly affects Black women. In 2025, misogynoir and racial fetishism can be “depicted by a recent (adult film website) (2022) report that Black, Latina, Indian, and Asian are some of their top search terms.” Misogynoir reinforces concepts such as, “White centring, Racial gaslighting, Tone policing, and Defensiveness” (Kwarteng, 2022). In addition, fetishization allows preconceived notions about BIPOC women. Like previously stated, assumptions about women are what leads to gender-based violence. Prejudice perpetuates the vicious cycle of abuse.
As trends fade or resurface, it’s essential to recognize the cultural context behind them. It’s evident that these aesthetics reinforce Anti-BIPOC and anti-feminist perspectives. Whether this is intentional or not, this ignorance can lead to harm for affected communities.
