Find Your Style
Personal style becomes a form of self-understanding and confidence when shaped by joy, practicality, and conscious rejection of fleeting trends.
Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City © All rights belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
Every night I have my own little fashion ritual. I light a candle, I check tomorrow’s weather forecast, and I choose a playlist according to my mood. I open my wardrobe and think of how I am feeling and what I want to wear the next day. Putting outfits together brings me joy. I wake up and one of the first things I see is the folded pile of that day’s fit, and it makes everything click: where I am going, how much time I have before leaving my house, and what I'll have to do.
Ever since college, I choose my looks the night before. Not out of organization but out of pleasure. Browsing through my stuff and finding new combinations makes me look forward to the next day. I love to mix patterns, combine colors, try all my shoes to see which one fits better, and wear golden and silver jewelry at the same time. Fashion is one of my favorite languages and I love how my style and personality reflect each other.
I love to pay attention to the styling choices made on TV shows and movies, see how stylists choose to communicate feelings and personality traits of characters with clothing. Think of the makeover in The Princess Diaries, Euphoriamakeup looks according to the girls’ mood, Andy’s transformation in The Devil Wears Prada with Suddenly I See in the background, Sex and the City (I could do a whole article about it), or even Clueless with the iconic checkered yellow print two pieces.
Alexa Demie and Sydney Sweeney in Euphoria via Instagram © All rights belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
We might not realize it at first, but outfits are consistently communicating something to us. Whether we think about it or not, we also do similar work when choosing our fits. If I’m feeling bubbly I tend to be more colorful, on the contrary of when I feel sad and make sober choices.
But how difficult can it be to know your style and stay true to it in a world with such volatile trends? One day, wearing a sleek back bun is a synonym of having your life put together. Next, the real cool thing is using smudge black liner. Wait, now fringes and cowboy boots are back. Clean girl, messy girl, boho chic, dopamine core, cottage core, old money style, mob wife… The list goes on and by the time you decide you fancy those studded belts (after seeing it a thousand times in your timeline) it might be time to follow another trend.
If wearing leopard print felt tacky, now it can be a cool-girl signature print, but who knows for how long? I’ve made a lot of wrong wardrobe choices that I regretted faster than I can recall. I’ve bought pieces in thrift shops because they seemed a valuable find but didn't fit quite right or didn’t match with what I had at home. I’ve tried new styles that I knew didn't feel like me and I have been wrongly influenced more times than I admit to.
Ron Galella, Ltd./Getty Images via Vogue Magazine © All rights belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
Yes, we have always been influenced. First by magazines, then telly, then blogs, and now via social media. The main difference is how easy and how much content we have access to today. How many times have we caught ourselves wishing for a reality that is so far from ours? Coming from Fortaleza, in Brazil, I only had summer all year round and 30ºF every day, make it rain or make it sunny. Getting to know influencers from Europe and the U.S. surprised me with videos such as “must-have jackets to wear this fall” or seasonal hauls. Have we normalized shopping sprees every season of the year? Who has a closet big enough to fit new different pieces every year for fall, winter, summer, and spring?
Knowing what I like and what makes me feel good has changed my relationship with fashion, self-esteem, and saved me from some impulsive buys. Here’s how I discovered it:
It may sound cheesy, but Marie Kondo was onto something when she said to only keep things that bring you joy. Do not feel that you have to save your favorite clothes for special occasions, wearing them on a daily basis brings joy too. Use that scent before it expires, put on your glitter socks for work, wear that dress for a pub night with friends. Life is too short for “just in case.” Joy belongs in the everyday too.
However, I disagree with her on some level: we also need to be practical, and while black leggings do not bring me joy, I regularly wear them at the gym—they earn their keep. So, whenever shopping or cleaning your wardrobe, you just have to think if the piece brings you joy or if it fits a purpose. If the answer is yes, keep it.
Owning stuff that you really enjoy or that have a well-defined purpose saves you time, space, and money. It helps me especially on days where I just want to throw anything on but still feel good. It can be just a T-shirt and jeans but the ones that make me feel effortlessly cool, that I proudly own.
via Alessia Golfetto © All rights belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
What do you want your style to communicate? My answer is comfort and brightness, so I keep that in mind when deciding whether to buy something or not. I might like something, but it may not be a match with my wardrobe. Sometimes, liking something or admiring a certain style does not mean you wish to dress in that certain way. I love short skirts and tight tops, but I never feel confident wearing them, so I realized that those are pieces I just appreciate on others.
Keep in mind what you regret. What choices and purchases felt pointless later on? Reminding yourself which ones and why will make your future decisions so much easier. I pray no one will ever see me again wearing Beckett sneakers.
Lastly, in this journey I discovered that Pinterest is sometimes much more my enemy than my ally. My main page does give me ideas and inspirations but a lot of times makes me compare myself, feel bad, or even feel that I should change the way I dress or look. Keep that in mind while searching for inspiration.
Knowing which personalities’ styles you admire and what about them you admire can help you a lot when finding yours too. It also makes all the difference in knowing what your body type is and following people who look similar to you in some way. When it comes to lifestyle, too. I feel highly motivated by seeing routines similar to mine. Ready to know yourself a little more?
