Broken Bonds

The concept of "daddy issues," more accurately referred to as the "Electra complex," is based on the myth of Electra, who at just three years old desired to possess her father and saw her mother as a rival in love. Today, we use the term "daddy issues" to describe people who are attracted to much older men, often because they experienced dysfunctional relationships with their own father during their upbringing and seek that father figure in someone else.

Lana Del Rey on the cover of Dazed, Summer 2017 via Coup De Main

On August 25 at the Leeds Festival, Lana Del Rey introduced her new flame to the public, Jeremy Dufrene, a boat captain who takes tourists through the swamps of Louisiana. Fans seemed almost shocked by this couple, despite the fact that it was known the singer had "daddy issues." For instance, in "Wildfire Wildflower," Lana Del Rey sings, "My father never stepped in when his wife would rage at me," while in "You Can Be The Boss," she is even more direct with the line, "You can be the boss, daddy."

Despite Lana Del Rey being considered the queen of "daddy issues," many other artists have explored the theme in fascinating ways. Here are five songs that address the topic:

Father of Mine by Everclear: The song reflects on the abandonment Art Alexakis experienced when his father left the family while he was still very young. Art reflects on how his father gave him his last name but never fully took on the responsibilities of fatherhood.

“Father of mine

Take me back to the day

Yeah, when I was still your golden boy

Back before you went away”

Father Time by Kendrick Lamar: In this song, Kendrick Lamar explores his relationship with his father, reflecting on how their difficult life experiences have impacted their bond. He considers how his father taught him not to trust anyone and to avoid showing vulnerability that others might exploit. As a result, Kendrick found it challenging to form romantic relationships in the future, as he was wary of displays of affection due to his upbringing and preferred to engage in less serious relationships.

“I got daddy issues, that's on me

Lookin' for, "I love you", rarely empathizin' for my relief

A child that grew accustomed, jumping up when I scraped my knee

'Cause if I cried about it, he'd surely tell me not to be weak

Daddy issues, hid my emotions, never expressed myself

Men should never show feelings, being sensitive never helped

His momma died, I asked him why he goin' back to work so soon?

His first reply was, "Son, that's life, and bills got no silver spoon"

Daddy issues, fuck everybody, go get your money, son

Protect yourself, trust nobody, only your momma'n'em

This made relationships seem cloudy, never attached to none

So if you took some likings around me, I might reject the love”

My Father's Son by Pearl Jam: In this song, Eddie Vedder questions whether the son of a criminal is destined to follow in his father's footsteps. He wishes he could erase certain aspects of his past to stop worrying about whether his own fate will mirror that of his father.

“Now, Father, you're dead and gone and

I'm finally free to be me

Thanks for all your fucked-up gifts for which I got no sympathy

Oh, I'm livin' in a war torn place, hear the bombs, a fifth symphony

Thanks for this and thanks for that, I gotta let go legacy”

Kyoto by Phoebe Bridgers: In an interview with The New Yorker, Phoebe Bridgers admitted to having a strained relationship with her father, saying “I feel so much fucking empathy and so much fucking anger toward him […] It’ll always be day to day: are we talking, are we not talking? What’s the vibe?”. The song refers to her father's attempts to reconnect with her after resolving his issues with alcohol. Phoebe feels conflicted, expressing both hatred and concern for her father due to his past substance abuse. She implies that, even though she isn't ready to forgive him now, she likely will in time.

“I wanted to go, but I didn't

You called me from a payphone

They still got payphones

It cost a dollar a minute

To tell me you're getting sober

And you wrote me a letter

But I don't have to read it”

Phoebe later shared that, during the COVID pandemic, she mended her relationship with her father. Unfortunately, he passed away in 2023.

Perfect by Simple Plan: This song addresses the expectations parents have for their children. The singer, Pierre Bouvier, laments the lack of paternal approval, which he suspects is due to fathers often avoiding expressions of pride to prevent their children from becoming weak. Once, he admired his father and saw him as his hero, but over time their paths diverged, and he no longer views him that way. As a result, they have completely lost their connection.

“Hey, dad, look at me

Think back and talk to me

Did I grow up according to plan?

And do you think I'm wasting my time

Doing things I wanna do?

But it hurts when you disapprove all along”