Push & Pull
Our idea of love is far from a dance on roses. As love blooms, tension often arises between two people as they navigate their relationship. Our modern, independent, and sometimes cynical approach to dating paves the way for relationships filled with back and forth, ups and downs, and push-and-pull dynamics.
Zoë Kravitz and Channing Tatum. Courtesy of Getty Images via VOGUE
What happened to the idyllic romance that defined our grandparents’ generation? While not extinct, it's certainly a rare sight. Dating norms have been redefined; gone are the days of handwritten love letters and grand serenades. Expressing feelings openly might make younger generations squirm in their skin. Instead, relations today often feature a back-and-forth, push-and-pull attitude—because, heaven forbid, we call it a relationship. If there aren’t moments of frustration, euphoria, despair, or obsession, akin to the highs and lows of gambling, then what’s the point? Modern dating patterns feel almost scripted, heavily influenced by the vast amount of romance-related content out there. Social media sets the tone, with people sharing their dating experiences, often inspiring others consciously or unconsciously. Similarly, TV shows, movies, and music—spanning genres from country to rap—all reflect the complexities of contemporary romance, often with a hint of trouble in paradise.
It seems ‘trouble in paradise’ has become synonymous with love. Interpretations of love, influenced by social media and the internet, bombard us constantly. We absorb everything, like sponges. Celebrity love scandals are splashed across social media much more prominently than the quiet workings of healthy relationships, famous or not. We’re surrounded by all aspects of relationships—open relationships, exploring sexualities, monogamous or otherwise. Younger generations are more liberal than ever, evident in their approach to dating and relationships. They reduce pressure by avoiding rigid definitions, keeping things fluid and free. Expectations have shifted, and the once-idealized image of a perfect household from the '90s has faded. The emphasis is no longer on idyllic love but on relationships that are freeing, unbound, and full of self-expression. We’ve adopted a more liberal approach to dating, prioritizing personal needs, which is great until it results in a spectacle of backstabbing and tumultuous relationships. However, similar things could occur in the traditional monogamous relationship. This hyper-present influence of social media reaches every corner of young minds, impacting them from an increasingly early age. But the effect isn’t limited to just social media and tabloids.
The movie industry, vast and influential since its inception, plays a significant role too. Almost every film contains some element of romance—some subtle, others radical. The most iconic on-screen love stories aren’t born from calm, reciprocated love but rather from intense passion and conflict. Classics like ‘The Notebook’ and ‘Titanic’ have left a lasting imprint on our collective consciousness. This conflicted portrayal of love has permeated the modern film industry. The greatest power couples don’t emerge from tranquility but are forged in fire, enduring challenges both external and internal. Maddy and Nate from ‘Euphoria’ captured our hearts, while Harley Quinn and The Joker left us captivated by their chaotic romance. The list of modern-day, all-consuming, tumultuous love stories is extensive. These narratives are not limited to screens; some of the most compelling love stories unfold in literature. Tropes like enemies-to-lovers and forbidden love dominate bestsellers as readers immerse themselves in intense romances set in either fantastical or everyday settings.
Yet, nothing resonates more with our daily lives than music. Songs fill our homes, accompany us in our cars, and are shared among friends. While some may focus more on the beat, the lyrics often tell a story of turbulent love. Now more direct and explicit than ever, these songs infiltrate our minds, shaping our perceptions, often unconsciously. Every genre explores love—from the rawness of rap to the softer longing of country songs lamenting unattainable sweet love. It’s no surprise how these varied depictions of love influence young, impressionable minds.
So, what of today’s dating culture? Some are content with the freedom and lack of rigid commitments, while others quietly hope for a grand romance to appear. Where do you stand in this landscape? Can these contrasting ideals coexist? And what has most significantly shaped your perception of love? Is it truly your family, or is it shaped by the media, songs, and movies we all consume?
